Gestures Come in Clusters (2)
Posted on December 8, 2008 - Filed Under Uncategorized
Here is a test to determine how congruence can assist you.The following passage from Charles Dickens’sGreat Expectations is a scene for the reader to visualize:
Casting my eyes along the street at a certain point of my progress, I beheld Trabb’s boy approaching, lashing himself with an empty blue bag. Deeming that a serene and unconscious contemplation of him would best beseem me, and would be most likely to quell his evil mind, I advanced with that expression of countenance, and was rather congratulating myself on my success, when suddenly the knees of Trabb’s boy smote together, his hair uprose, his cap fell off, he trembled violently in every limb, staggered out into the road, and crying to the populace, “Hold me! I’m so frightened!” feigned to be in a paroxysm of terror and contrition, occasioned by the dignity of my appearance. As I passed him, his teeth loudly chattered in his head, and with every mark of extreme humiliation, he prostrated himself in the dust.
After having read this passage, attempt, without rereading, to visualize the people and the scene. Picture in your mind’s eye what the writer described and then write down what you saw. Then reread the paragraph to see how accurately you remembered it. Now see if you can remember more. Having in mind a congruence of gestures that the author is very much aware of, try the same visualization experiment with the next paragraph, but tie the gestures together, forming a memory chain:
This was a hard thing to bear, but this was nothing. I had not advanced another two hundred yards, when to my inexpressible terror, amazement, and indignation, I again beheld Trabb’s boy approaching. He was coming round a narrow corner. His blue bag was slung over his shoulder, honest industry beamed in his eyes, a determination toproceed to Trabb’s with cheerful briskness was indicated in his gait. With a shock he became aware of me, and was severely visited as before; but this time his motion was rotatory, and he staggered round and round me with knees more afflicted, and with up-lifted hands as if beseeching for mercy. His sufferings were hailed with the greatest joy by a knot of spectators, and I felt utterly confounded.
Congruence can provide a structure on which human actions can be ordered and thereby recalled more easily. The problem with observing congruence is that we tend to “tune in and out” not only verbal communication but also nonverbal messages. As an example, imagine an individual briskly walking into your office. He says good morning, unbuttons his coat, sits down with his body relaxed, legs spread apart, slight smile on his face, hands lightly resting on the arms of the chair. Thus far, all congruent gestures indicate that the person is receptive, open, not defensive, and probably at ease or comfortable with the environment. Once having organized the initial gestures into a composite attitude or feeling, you will find it easy to turn off your visual reception in favor of the audio and relax into a complacent belief that everything is going well. The rude awakening comes when you are jarred from your lethargy by an awareness that something has gone wrong. The person is now talking with his fists clenched, or he is shaking his index finger at you. In addition to scowling, he is getting red in the face either from heat or anger. The environment has quickly deteriorated into a rather sticky situation from which you must either extricate yourself or face a hostile friend, client, or customer.
Although at first it is difficult to concentrate on seeing gestures objectively, by exercising our awareness daily it becomes much easier, as in learning any language. And as for congruity, if instead of concentrating on gestures as mere parts that mustbe fitted together for meaning we concentrate upon the gesture-clusters, then congruity of body movements and gestures becomes considerably simpler to understand. This contributes greatly toseeing the overall meaning.
Taken From : How To Read A Person Like a Book
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Wow…that paints quite a picture. That is truly a gift. That was a GREAT exercise.